Addiction can change everything. It can turn the person you love into someone you don’t know. Addiction can affect the brain, hence, the reason for behavioral change. It is a ‘chronic, impulsive, psychological, or physiological habitual forming substance.’ Even under the negative aftereffect of substance, addictive behavior still extensively emerges and remains. It would cause sadness and difficulty understanding a loved one who became a liar and manipulative because of addiction.

Why do addicts lie and manipulate?
Why do addicts lie and manipulate?

Why do addicts lie and manipulate?

When you are a friend, partner, or sibling of an addict, it would be very hard for you to understand their behavior and why they are constantly lying and manipulating.

Although these behaviors are confusing, you must know why they lie and manipulate people around them.

  1. Sense of control- it’s common for addicts to feel that they are deep inside, powerless. Their desire for drugs or alcohol controls them, and an addict will mostly attempt to control their environment and everyone around them.
  2. Intense cravings- Their manipulative behaviors are caused by their uncontrollable physical and intense psychological cravings for substance, making it difficult for them to resist despite the consequences it brings. Addicts will do anything to hold their desires and use this to justify their lying and manipulating behavior.
  3. Unable to make objective thought and decisions- Alcohol changes the brain and its behavior, primarily why addicts can’t make clear decisions and experience continual indecisiveness. Although some ‘high functioning ‘ addicts can hold things together in holding one’s pretense tendencies, the addiction can get ugly, and these things will eventually collapse.
  4. Desperateness dominating morality- Addicts have a strong psychological need to use substances. It’s an obsession that rapidly envelops an individual’s state of mind and desires until they are completely consumed by its effects and desperate enough to do it again. There’s nothing that matters most, even the well-being and emotions of the loved ones.
  5. Guilt is disabling- The addicts already realized the damage that they have caused. The embarrassment or guilt is way too heavy to deal with and the reason why they feel ashamed to ask for help and it for them it feels like it might be too late for them to catch up and initiate to tell their situation. Hence, the lies and manipulation will still continue.

Signs of addict’s lie and manipulation

Sadly, it is complicated to recognize the signs that you are being manipulated, particularly coming from someone you care about.

 There is  one important thing you should know, if you’re being manipulated you should take into consideration what you feel after talking to the person. Here are the signs of addiction manipulation in order for you to eradicate it.

  • Exaggeration of the situation. Often you can hear words such as ‘always’ or ‘never’ to associate themselves and their circumstance.
  • Self-preservation. Addicts have a desire to take the substances, and for them, it’s overwhelming. As a result,  they try to force themselves into dealing with more stress or other problems than most people, and taking alcohol and drugs is inseparable.
  • Preys on fears. The addicted person is a pursuer of emotional and physical, emotional and momentary fears and worries evident in their words and actions.
  • Dominance. The addict frequently reminds you of their importance in the relationship, asserting their power over you.
  • Constantly feeling bullied, confused and embarrassed. When you are with them you feel like you are not part of the conversation, their decision making and existence. You are confused of his/her manner of talking and acting, embarrassed  when he/she  is trying to shut you down in front of everybody.
  • Addicted people are nice to their advantage. A person who constantly takes substances that are nice to you knows what they want, and in that case, while they are approachable, they will also expect something in return from you.

What to do to ignore an addict’s lie and manipulation?

After knowing the tell-tale signs of addicts’ lies and manipulation, it is time to know how you are going to cope with an addict’s behavior in constantly lying and manipulation. It is important that you know how to protect yourself from physical,mental and emotional abuse. Furthermore, you have the right to voice out your concerns, opinions and views. Most importantly, it should be respected. Perhaps, at first your addicted friend,partner or family member might be taking it in a wrong way, you should always remember that you mattered too. This time, start by setting your boundaries.

You can still offer your love and care to the addicted person without sacrificing your happiness or living in their manipulative ways. Standing up for yourself is necessary and we don’t know that it might change their mind and get sober.

Here are the ways you can use to never fall for an addict’s lies and manipulation.

  1. State your intention and boundaries
  2. Practice saying “no” in a calm manner
  3. Talk to the person honestly when they are starting to show their temper and is already disrespectful
  4. Always remind yourself that you are in charge of your happiness not the addicted person
  5. You are not the problem and make the person responsible for their action.
  6.  Keep a healthy relationship with yourself.
What to do to ignore an addict's lie and manipulation?
What to do to ignore an addict’s lie and manipulation?

What type of help is suitable for the addicts?

The addict may not be aware about their manipulative behavior and is highly unacceptable. These characteristics can be the result of various traumatic experiences which lead to inability to communicate effectively, coping with stress or develop healthy relationships.

There are reported aid and solutions that can be a great help and a relief to those who are close loved ones of the addict. One example is the drug and detox rehab centers that provide a well trauma-informed addiction treatment that helps the psychological,social, and behavioral aspects of addiction. Second recommended for addicts with severe addiction problems.


It is indeed confusing to identify behaviors of lies and manipulative behavior especially when you are attached to the person who is a constant user of substances. It is not just understanding that you have to consider but the way how it all started and how these behaviors sprout and shape a person’s state of mind. Addiction is not easy to conquer and it is not an overnight task. However, if you feel like you have been mistreated because of the frequent lies and manipulation you have to prioritize yourself first and establish boundaries to help yourself from the influences of the addict’s lie and manipulation. Lies and manipulation are indeed results of substances that they take in,but it is also their mental wellbeing that are at risk, and sadly,most of them are unaware of these behavioral impacts to the other. Why do they lie and manipulate, because they are hopeless and as someone who knows them, you have the right to help them get the medications they deserve without harming yourself.

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